I miss my dad so much. So many times I have thought “I should call Daddy and tell him…” or I hear a joke my dad would giggle at and know that I can’t tell it to him. Right now, my family is going through some struggles and I have been very down about it, and I know that if my dad was here he would say something witty and make me laugh, and make me feel a little bit better.
I have never suffered a loss like this, something so painful and real, yet unreal at the same time. I have never missed someone so achingly in my life. This experience has truly brought me to my knees and left me devastated trying to find solid ground. I know that eventually I will find my place in the world without my dad but for right now I just want to sort myself out, get a little lost, and go through the motions of daily life.
I have learned a few things from this new experience. I have learned how deeply a heart can break and just how unconditionally I loved my dad. I also learned a few things that I think will apply to most anyone suffering an intimate loss. Just because they are gone, the love does not fade, the memories do not disappear, and you do not just “move on” and I have come to accept that all of that is perfectly ok.
Just a Few Things I Have Learned Since Losing my Dad
1.) There are never enough pictures.
2.) When you do run across pictures you will find them heartbreaking.
3.)The memories that made you smile will make you cry, you can only hope that eventually they will make you smile again.
4.)No one is going to understand what it feels like to you, as much as people want to help, and family suffers the same loss, yours is a different journey.
5.)Part of you will always pretend it isn’t real.
6.)You will want to call them and tell them silly things, only to realize you can’t.
7.) Loss changes you and for a time it may even break you.
8.)You are gonna have to go through the motions of life, I don’t know how long this lasts because I am still going through them.
9.) You will think of things to tell them, you will even pick up the phone to call them, and then…you will just cry.
10.) When hard time hits, and they were the person that could make you laugh at those times, you will truly ache inside.
11.) You are gonna cry…a lot, and over and over again.
12.) Some people will lie and tell you it gets better, other people will tell you the truth. It never really gets better, you just get better at handling it, one step at a time.
13.) You will wish you would have hugged them one more time.
14.) You will wonder if you showed them enough just how much you love them.
15.) When you have a joyous moment: your child gets accepted into Beta Club, you find a great deal on something, you finish a project, you will feel so much sadness in the desire to share your joy with them.
16.) Your life will never truly be the same.
***How do we know that the Earth won’t come to an end?
Because it’s round!***
Happy 70th Birthday, Daddy! We love and miss you!
Growing Up Mom 
Reblogged this on JED's Playhouse and commented:
My little sis has started a blog about being a mom and wrote this touching post about our dad on what would have been his seventieth birthday. If you get a chance check it out and welcome her to the blogging community.
Thank you!
Hey! I’m here from your brother’s blog. I haven’t lost either of my parents, yet, but my Dad is getting up there in years and I can’t help but identify with what you posted here as something I have to look forward to. I’m not going to tell you I understand. I’m not going to tell you it gets better. What I will tell you, though, is this: your dad isn’t lost. You’ll see him again and hug him again and hear him tell you jokes again. It won’t make not having him any less painful, but it does give something to look forward to. May you find the peace you seek, friend.
I thank you very much for your kindness. Moving on from this is a battle I face everyday and in that battle I simply hold on to the hope that he is here with me always, even if not physically.
Amen
I hope my daughter grows up to love me as much as you love your father. I don’t seem to have that kind of relationship with either of my parents, and so it often feels like they’re already gone. I wish you the best during your recovery from grief, however long it might be.
Thank you for those very kind words. I can say that I had no anger or resentment toward my dad, only live. I could not have asked for a better father. I hope that your relationship with your daughter stays strong as well!
Thank you! 🙂
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